


what you left behind.

by Ijustabee



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abandonment, Alcohol, Arranged Marriage, Beach Sex, Birthday, Birthday Fluff, Blood and Violence, Books, Brotherly Bonding, Bruises, Child Abuse, Dancing, Death, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Falling In Love, First Dates, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay Male Character, Hate Sex, Jealousy, Love, Love/Hate, Marriage Proposal, Panic Attacks, Romance Novel, Sex, Small Towns, Smoking, Suicide, Weddings, Writers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:08:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27397726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ijustabee/pseuds/Ijustabee
Summary: Is this heaven? Being with your loved one under the moonlight and the music in the air. Here is fate laughing at all my choices to build my own destiny and run away from the inevitable.
Kudos: 2





	1. The beginning of the end for me

**Author's Note:**

> hello, so this is my first time publishing my work. hope you like it stay tuned for the next chapters.

A lot of people may wake up to the sound of their alarm clocks or the sound of their lover waking them up gently but in my case, it's the noise of my sister yelling at my brother to get down already and eat his damn breakfast. after that, a gentle knock comes on my door followed by a soft voice “ Noah dear are you up?” She says to me while peeking her head.” Unfortunately yes I'm up I will be down in a minute” I said while grunting and pushing my head in the pillow.” thank you” she kissed my forehead and went downstairs.

I woke up went to the bathroom took a quick shower got my T-shirt and sweats on and went downstairs.”good-morning” I said while slamming my hand on my stupid brother's head.” ow, what was that for?” He said while rubbing it.” Just because “ gave him a little grin and sat next to my sister.” now both of you eat”. Elizabeth my older sister she’s only one year older than me but she looks way younger than any of us with her baby face and bright smile long brunette hair and ocean eyes, on the other hand, you have my younger brother Jake who is 4 years younger than I am tall fit he had long dark brown hair and eyes the same as my sister. “ Okey I'm done let's go now,” Jake said in a hurry taking his bags and phone heading to the front door. “ you don’t get to tell me what to do” is what I wanted to say to this brat but I didn’t have enough energy to scold or fight with him right now since I haven’t eaten just drank a cup of black coffee.” fine” I replied kissing my sister's forehead as she wished us safety and luck.light my smoke took my jacket and followed him to the front door.

“So you're new here in the neighborhood ha? Why don’t you give me your number so I could show you around sometimes” Jake Said to this blonde with a hot body walking her dog past our lawn” sure here’s my number” she started giving him her number when I took a puff out of my cigarettes and yelled at him “ come on you’re going to be a late jackass” gave him a smug laugh and went in the car while him flipping me without the girl noticing.

Arrived at the airport took down his bags and waited for him to check them and get his ticket his flight doesn’t take off for another half hour, so as I waited I really wanted to get out and smoke I hated crowded places where everyone pushes and get closed it freaked me out. I told him ill be waiting outside until he’s done.got out took a cigarette and smoked that relaxed me a little bit being away from everyone in clean fresh air well that’s.. Ironic.

lifted my head and that’s when I saw her or what thought that I saw of her walking just out of the gate passing by.

“ Hey have you gone deaf or something, I've been calling you for the past to minutes,” Jake says as he put his hand on my shoulder and I jerked off.

“ What do you want and don’t touch me,” I said taking his hands off me.

“ Fine, sorry just wanted to say goodbye I have to go inside now .” He said while hoping for a brotherly hug since he will be gone for the next three days.

“ Fuck off its only three days you're not going to get a hug” smiled at him put my hand on his shoulder squeezed it “ well have a safe trip, “ I said,

“ thank you bye.” And he took off.

* * *

Few days after Jake returned home from his college trip the days seemed to be long and full of his stupid trip stories with his friends . Until one morning Elizabeth woke us up to take her to town to buy some groceries and stuff for the house.i didn’t mind of course but why do I have to go in this balls freezing cold weather, but when its Elizabeth I can’t just say no to her unlike Jake who’s so self indulgent bastard. She hopped out of the car with a smile on her face went to ben’s store. I smiled because I knew what her little town visit was for after all. She and Jake went inside and took ben with them to shop more her and ben holding hands made me miss that feeling of her hand in mine.i shoved that thought aside and went to the bar on the other side of the street where. I was welcomed by my old friend jasper

“ Well well well who do we have here if it isn’t mr.lazy” he said while giving me a quick hug and smile on his face

“ Shut up and pour me the usual” sitting on the bar catching up on what happened past few days smoking laughing that’s when i Heard it,her voice.

“ Hey little brother, did ya miss me?” She said passing by me and going behind the bar putting the bags on the counter for jasper when we locked eyes.

“ Jasper, you didn’t tell me the devil was visiting from his shrine” she said while looking at me.

“ That’s supposed to be my line princesse” I said not backing down from this eye staring competition.

And everything went down the hill from there.


	2. a broken heart and a plea

“ Now now you two be nice, did you buy what I asked for?” Jasper asked her while looking through the bags she brought.  
We kept looking at each other with heat rising the sexual tension could be cut with a knife it was full of a love-hate moment until it was cut off by jasper who smacked a bottle of whiskey on the counter that startled and made us turn out gaze to him.  
“ Sorry what?” She said.  
“Never mind it's here,” Jasper said.  
When she turned her head back to me I chugged all my drink put my cigarette in my mouth and went out of the door.  
“Hey where are you going,” said jasper following me but I was gone.

When I went outside here they were ben Elizabeth and Jake's mouth opened and staring.  
“What now? “ I said grunting  
“ Is that?” Jake said stuttering and Elizabeth put her hand on his mouth to keep his stupid ass from not saying anything.  
“ Yeah, now can we please go home?” I murmured to myself self walking to the car.  
The car ride home was silent at last a minute without fighting or conversing with my stupid brother's ideas and Elizabeth forcing us to quick it.

all I did through that time was remember how she looked like.she was different her hair was shorter than before her smiles were all fake her eyes were sad but even though she changed she still made my heart skip a beat with the sound of her voice and my body to heat up just with the gaze of her eyes. i shoved again from my mind sitting at the kitchen counter drinking something that maybe helps me forget those minutes that I saw her.” Isn’t it a bit early for you to start drinking?” Jake said while tossing me a lighter to light my smoke.” isn’t it a bit early for your nonsense ?’ I said while pouring myself another glass.

Elizabeth came after making the ingredients for dinner and took the bottle away from me I knew the meaning behind what Jake said about the timing its not about hey it is five o’clock somewhere its bout you’ll be seeing a lot of her since she’s back why the hell am I starting to drown my self a bit early. and for that question I can’t find an answer maybe because deep in my mind I know it. she got every right to break me and put me back whole again and I am letting her.” no more drinking for you Mr.” Elizabeth said while taking the bottle from me. making a small pout and puppy eyes didn’t convince her that much so I accepted my fate with this second glass and tried to savor every last bitter sip .

” so we are not going to discuss what happened today or where just going to ignore the fact that she’s back from America?” Jake said looking at me with a half crooked laugh that made me wanna slapped it out of his mouth.

” no we don’t have to just because she’s back doesn’t change that everything is not the same anymore. her being back is normal we always expected it anyways this is her home.”Elizabeth elaborated while looking at me trying to hold my eyes as if she’s reminding me that everything is going to be okay.

” but-“Jake said and the cut off by me staring at him to just shut up.

  
“ I'm not hungry going to sleep early” took my glass and headed to my room.

I don't want her here.im not ready yet after all this freaking time why fucking now??  
If only I had a nickel to every question that iv asked myself before I dozed off to sleep while she’s on my mind. I wouldn’t have worried about shit in my life.

* * *

The next morning I woke up hungover after sneezing a small bottle with me to my room yesterday. headache is banging through my head at the rhythm of my pulse I cursed myself to never drink this much but everybody lies about this kind of oath never commit to it anyway.

  
“ Noah comes down sleepyhead it's already noon and we have guests for crying out loud,” Elizabeth shouted from downstairs. And I regretted waking up.took a worm shower some water and pain. Killers and went downstairs.

“ Hey, Elizabeth have you seen my lighter?” I asked while coming to the kitchen looking down scrolling on my phone and a cigarette dangling between my lips.  
“You haven’t even eaten anything and you are still going to smoke first?” A soft voice replied.

I looked up and it was her here in my kitchen standing in front of me wearing a green short dress long v neck and a thigh-high black coat. her cheeks got red when our eyes met and I just couldn’t stop staring until I heard a lighter near me and someone lighting my cigarette.

  
“ Here you go you can keep it just stop starring,” Jake said while giving me a devilish smile. I slapped his head because I knew he was the one who took it from me. I hear her apologizing for intruding on Elizabeth and she was okay to leave.

I started to get mad slowly took my phone my wallet and walked down the hall hearing Elizabeth calling me I assured her that it's just for a walk to smoke outside ill back in a minute but that was a lie I wanted to run far away from her because a little longer I would’ve fallen right back. until I was outside and soft small warm hands grabbed my wrist I looked back and it was Her.

  
“You need something?” I said trying not to look at her eyes.  
She held my hand softly opens her mouth and closed it as if she can’t find what to say.

  
“ Tell me or else I have to go,” I said while taking my hand away from hers not till she grasped my jacket from behind tightly and rested her head on my back.

” Shit” that’s what my heart screamed in my head after feeling her warmth.

“ I know that it is too late to say I’m sorry, but I am-“ she said her voice is cracking a little bit.” I talk to Elizabeth all the time and frankly I came here to see you even if you hate me and you should it's just” she continued and I groaned turned our eyes met and here it is.

” shit,” said that out loud because her eyes were gathering tears and I just couldn’t help my self I just can’t but I have to “ you don’t have to apologize what’s in the past is in the past and for me to forgive you is a long way to go and right now-“ I replied to her and then cut off by the wind blowing her scent and I caved she might have changed but she still smelled and felt like home.

I exhaled and continued taking her hands off my jacket holding them and wiping her tears.” It's hard I needed time and I still need time now”.she nodded and I took off.found my self on the roof of my apartment I don’t live there anymore but I sometimes go there whenever I start writing for my career.I sat there in the cold hand on my heart trying to damn hard not to cry.

“ I finally found you, knew you would come here” jasper came holding a bottle some food, and a box of cigarettes.  
“ How the hell did you know?’ I yelled putting my head between my hands trying to get this freaking headache that been living in my brain since I woke up.

“ I know you man you like to self destruct sometime and besides Jake told me about what happened at your house.” He said while settling next to me and offering some food although I reached out for the bottle first.  
“ Fine yes I self-destruct I do a lot of stupid things in my life are ya happy now?” I said eating the bread aggressively since I haven’t eaten anything.  
“ Hey, no need for that although I like hearing you say things out loud sometimes just to make sure that you also know how stupid you could be, but let's are real talk to me you haven’t been yourself since the day at the bar.” Even though jasper asked me this question he knows the answer but just so he can fairly smack me in the head he wanted me to answer.

“ You know why it is because of her, every stupid shit that happens to me or I do is because of her and for her. and why the hell didn’t you tell me she’s coming back?’ I said


	3. it always begins with summer

“Yeah, everything started because of her “I mumbled to myself remembering that day.

* * *

I don’t know if love considered a curse or a blessing, but one thing I know once it hits you can’t seem to feel anything else.

It was the summer a few years ago me and jasper were having a beach party and we were short on alcohol so I went to the bar not knowingly half naked holding the icebox in my hand it was fine because the bar was owned by jaspers family so I didn’t think of it that much, well until she barged in.

“Well well well what do we have here.” She said to me with disgusted eyes looking at me from top to bottom.

well, I didn’t mind people staring at me am tall muscular with undercut grey/black hair piercing in my left ear, two colored eyes one like my moms which were amber-brown, and the other ocean blue such as my dad. “Like what you see?” I replied giving her a smirk which she didn’t appreciate that much.

“Of course not what I go for a few months and jasper starts getting stripers in here?” I thought when she said that she was joking but apparently by her angry snarky tone she wasn’t kind of.

“ Well, you work here so he thought why not add another?” I said took my icebox and headed to the beach. I could still hear her screaming and cursing me that made me laugh and made her angrier.

After 10 minutes of walking, she kept silent through the walk back. Though she was not following me not until she saw jasper and ran past me to hug him. Almost made him fall. “ Hey, you’re here early,” Jasper said while hugging her tightly. And a question mark was written all over my face watching them catch up.

“Yeah I’m finally home ahh, and then this asshole called me striper,” she said pointing at me as if she won.

“You called me one first which I don’t mind by the way cause I know you would drool all over me if I stripped for you,” I said putting the icebox on the bench and taking a cold beer. “ What the hell am I listing to ?” Jasper was confused he didn’t even know what to say how the hell one starts a conversation like that turns it 18+ so fast !!.

“Yeah, you wish.” She said crossing her arms.

And I the little shit I am just smiled wide back. “Okey okey break this awkward thing off, Elaina this is Noah I know you remember him he’s my best friend since we were kids, and Noah this is my little sister Elaina I know that you knew that I told you she was coming” jasper introduced us and gave me an I will kill you later stare.

“No never will I have the pleasure of knowing him,” she said while looking away.

“Well same here, guess we can agree to this one point” “As if I would agree to you “

“You just did, princess"

” You little shit hea-“ Jasper came between us tried to stop her and he was serious with his stare this Time so I stopped smiling took few other beers and headed to where the other girls were.

“Elaina why just why won’t you be civil with him its been years for crying out loud.” Jasper said desperately to her with puppy eyes “ just this time, please? Don’t be a party pooper I know you're fun to be around”

“ Fine only for you, just so you know I haven’t forgotten what he did to my hair when we were kids” pointing a finger at her brother and taking her bag heading to a tanning chair which wasn’t close to where we sat but also no to far for her not to hear what we are saying.

“ Oh god this is going to be a long-ass summer isn’t it,” Jasper said to himself taking the icebox to where I was.

* * *

Even when rounded by hot girls all I was doing was staring at her. because of her mouth, I couldn’t see her very well. tanned skin, long amber hair hot body, and curves when she took her beach robe off damn this is a fine ass woman in a hot ass bikini.

Maybe I was staring too long cause I didn’t even notice when Sara the girl on my right started biting my ear softly and calling my name. “Yeah what?” I said drinking and looking at her as if wasn’t doing anything “Who's that girl you’ve been staring at for five minutes?”

“ Are you jealous Sara?” I said laughing, putting my hand on her face holding it close.

“ No I’m curious” she gave me a sweet little kiss.

“Ohh, who are we staring at now ?” Jasmine came on my left and Sarah pointed at Elaina sitting a few chairs on our left.

“She’s hot ! “ jasmine exclaimed earning a soft push from Sarah.

“ What that’s the truth” Jasmin responded.

“Indeed she is only when she’s quiet though” and that smart ass remark earned me a slap on the back of my head from jasper.

“She’s my little sister now either you go apologize or be nice,” jasper said in a firm tone.

“Fine” I got up to her and you can see one of the girls being a bit more jealous and the other was really curious.

“ Mind if I join you?” I said walking up to her. She was reading a book with headphones in her ears humming with the song she was listening to.

I laid next to her and that gave her a scare. “ You idiot you almost gave me a heart attack why are you this close to me get up,” she said while trying to push me off the chair.

“ I came here to say that I’m sorry, and iv been calling you for the past twenty seconds and you didn’t even notice me so I had to do this by the way you smell nice what is that vanilla?” I said while coming closer to her neck.

She pushed me with a blush on her face. “Wiseass yes it is vanilla I know you like it but you don’t have to be this close, and the apology what for? Calling me a stripper or defiling my hair with gum?” She said setting up facing me with crossed arms and a snarky smile.

“ That and oh my god you still remember that!” I said laughing hard almost crying

“Hey don’t laugh I loved my hair long and you ruined it for me,” she said giving me the puppy eyes.

Shit, I never could say no to those. I sat up and held her hands looked her in the eyes and said “ okay okay jokes aside I’m sorry for that too.but, to be honest, I love short hair, but you look great in both” holding a strand of hair tucking it behind her ears made her face redder than it was before.

“Fine, I forgive you now to go to your harem over their they must miss you.eyeing me like that till I disappear”

“Oh someone is jealous “

“ As if go now before I get madder”

“ Okey I'm going get back to your books and songs” She had the prettiest smile on earth and that got me a little bit more hooked.

Got back had fun the sun was setting and we were taking our stuff and cleaning behind us.

jasper came and whispered in my ear. “ So which one ?” Asked while looking at both Sarah and jasmine

Sarah and jasmine were both our college friends throughout the years even after college they still hung around. and to me, since jasper is not really interested in girls we were the friends with benefits kind of thing.

“ Both,” I said in a calm voice.

“ What really?” His face was red shocked

“ Yeah it is not the first time and you know it”

“ Fine fine go have all the sex and fun tonight”

“ We sure will “ Sarah and jasmine said laughing

“ You guys are assholes am going to hunt my pillow tonight,” jasper said and gave us a pout.

* * *

We left I woke up the next day in an empty bed jasmine left early I guessed and Sarah was wearing her clothes I grunted at the light shining from the window and the headache pumping in my head she came kissed my forehead and left.

I tried to sleep but couldn’t because as soon as Sarah left I heard jasper scream.

“ WAKE UP SLEEPYHEAD ITS SHOPPING TIME,” jasper said barging into my apartment

“ Could you please be quiet its ..” I looked at my watch and it was 9:30 in the morning “fucking too early for me to be awake” I crushed my pillow over my head just to not hear his loud voice going through my cabinet to find coffee and aspirin.

“ Stop banging the doors it's on the left and bring me cold water too,” I said to jasper groaning in pain I shouldn't have drunk this much yesterday if I knew this is going to happen.

“ Well, this is a nice cold empty place you got” her voice echoed and I sat up.

“ What ?” I said while taking a cigarette in my mouth and lighting it holding the silk sheets from moving to cover me.

“ You heard me, one couch one big ass bed tv and a small kitchen and one big ass bathroom no walls only for the bathroom of course, and it is all in white black and grey, yup it is what I said a cold empty place just like your heart,” she said popping her head on the couch looking at me until she realized I was naked under the silk sheets which I had an arm holding it to cover the lower half of my body.

She flushed and threw a pillow I stood up to catch it before it hits my face and here it goes my dick to show.

“Hey cover yourself will you,” she said putting her hand over her eyes with a little peephole to look through.

“Well don’t deny a great big thing when you see it, or you and your so-called fiancé haven’t seen each other naked before is that it? Am I too big considering him?” I said with a smirky ass tone and a grin on my face walking towards the bathroom.

“How the hell did you know…” that’s when she looked at jasper and pointed her finger at him” you !!”

“A threat is coming from a small being jasper look out for yourself,” I said as I turned the shower on.

“You guys are just the worst,” she said pouting sitting on the kitchen island stool taking a coffee made by jasper as an apology.

“It's a small town he’s bound to know sooner or later, dear,” Jasper explained himself.

After 15 minutes of showering, I walked out wore sweat pants, and headed to the kitchen for the painkillers and the water.

“Rough night?” Jasper smirked

“ Oh boy it was rough alright,” I said grinning

“Ew, I don't need to know that get dressed bitches where are going shopping,” she said while looking at her phone.

“Now that’s the Elaina I know,” I said raising my cup of coffee to her and she smiles.

Black jeans black oversized t-shirt black shoes and we were off to go. Strolling around town for her to find some new clothes and lingerie for her honeymoon which made me sick because even though I didn’t see what she bought picturing her in one for me made me super hot and fucking bothered that she’s going to wear them for someone else.

We sat down at a cafe ordered coffee and sweets for her.

“ Why are you staring at me, princess?” I said looking at her while lighting my smoke.

“ I forgot about how you’re eyes are beautiful I wish had yours,” she said

“ Well, they are all yours if you want them.” I came closer to her face and jasper coughed as if to let us know he’s here.

“ You know my mom always told me that you picking on me meant that you liked me,” she said while looking at her coffee.

“ And??” I said

“ I wonder if it was true”

“ The answer won’t mean anything right now, princess”

“And why is that?”

“Because I did and you left.”

“ Oh, and now I’m engaged well you deserve it for ruining my hair.”

“Though you forgave me for that yesterday, it's not fair”

“ I did but I like to tease you.you're easily provoked”

“Unfortunately I am.”

The last one was said with a bitter-sad tone that I knew she was taking this lightly as if we were still kids but since that day she was saying goodbye at the airport to study abroad I kissed her and this kiss was forgotten and never brought back acting like it didn’t mean a thing to her and I made my self think that I never did it.


	4. A birthday party with a green eyed beast.

A few weeks after that I was invited to her house for a party, to her birthday party.dressed in a black silk shirt tucked in my black jeans few unbuttoned buttons and a pair of black shoes.put on my favorite perfume got her a present and only to be faced with her fiancé opening the door.

He was handsome tall dark hair color as if he was a lawyer with his attire it was a birthday party for crying out loud not an investment meeting.

“ Hi, you are?” He said holding his hand out for a shake which I did.

“ I'm Noah their childhood friend,” I said faking a smile and him ushering me inside.

There she was wearing a dark red silk short dress her hair was covering her back which was half shown it was a freaking backless dress soft red lips and thigh-high and elegant black heels. Shit, I fell hard this time.

“ Happy birthday princess,” I said hugging her and kissing her on her forehead.

“Thank you Noah, so what did you get me” she looked at me with sparkly eyes as if she was a kid whom her mother just bought her her favorite doll.

“It's a small one but I know you would love it.” I handed her the small red velvet box wrapped in a black ribbon.

“ Can I ? “ she said.

“ You have to wait till after the cake Elaina those are the rules” jasper came in with a hand over my shoulders

“ By the way, man you look hot is that a new piercing too?” He said to me.

“ Thanks, man, yeah did it yesterday so it still stings don’t touch it,” I said to him while trying to take his Hands off my ears.

“ Fine fine it looks cool though,” he said while backing off and going to other people in the room

“ Oh can I touch it,” she said putting her hands on my face turning it to see my left ear.

I had a piercing before but this time I pierce a little higher on my ear to match circle black earring to match the one at the bottom.

“ Yeah but don’t squeeze,” I said forget about the pain with her soft touch on my face and her curious puppy eyes. Shit who could say no to that face.

“Uhhmm” her fiance came in and put a hand on her waist.

“ Oh I haven’t introduced you too,” she said jerking her hand off my face and ear.

“ I met him at the door actually Noah right?” He said

“ Well yeah it was five minutes ago didn’t expect you to act as you forgot.” Sparks went flying as he stared me down. She looked back and forth between us and kind of scared because she knew this is our first time meeting why the hell are we trying to pick a fight

Well me on the other hand she knew that I’m easily provoked so I did get into a lot of fights but her fiancé didn’t, so she added quickly to clear the tension.

“ Noah,” she said stepping on my foot a little bit to change my gaze to her.

“Ow,” I said to myself

“ This is my fiancé Joshua I worked as an intern in his company after graduation”

“ Oh so he was technically your boss,” I said with a devil grin and continued “ isn’t it illegal to do your boss instead of your work Elaina?”

“ Okey that’s it you’re getting punched” as Joshua was holding his fist I grabbed Elaina took her behind me and at that moment jasper came in to stop Joshua from landing his hit.

“ Guys be civil please this is a fucking birthday party you don’t have to make a scene,” Jasper said with a fatherly tone.

“Well, it's not my fault your future brother in law Is the one who started it. violence while holding your fiancé isn’t the best first impression to make” I said to him which made him more pissed of but seeing Elaina scared behind me made him loosen his fist.

“You better watch your mouth or your back mr.noah cause you might not know what fate is hiding for you”

“Yes sir,” I said with a smirk watching him walk away outside.

“ Elaina can you please not hold my shirt like that you’re going to rip it apart,” I said turning my head to see her.

She was acting really scared over this stupid incident. A lot scared as something happened between them that made her like this and this started to get in my head I grabbed her and hugged her tightly and brush her hair.

“Shh, it's fine I’m sorry you know I’m an asshole sometimes, why are you so scared?”

“ No it's nothing I’m fine just hold me for a second please I can’t let the other see me like this,” she said while gripping on me tightly I kissed her head and rubbed her back calming her until she backed away. and I missed her warmth.her vanilla-scented skin her soft touch and beautiful hair.

“I'm fine now thank you, ill open this after the cake.” She kissed my cheeks and went back with the gift and placed it with the others.

I joined the other. We drank we chatted even Sarah and jasmine were there Sarah was sitting on my lap while playing some games and I surely could see a hint of jealousy on Elaina's face. after all that it was the cake time a I lighted the candles jasper turned off the lights held the cake they sang to her happy birthday until I reached where she was standing crouched she was smiling and happy tears were forming in her eyes.

Took my thumb and wiped them away and said “ make a wish, princess”

She closed her eyes and blew out the candles.

“Now presents time “ Jasmine Exclaimed happily

The first present she opened was from her fiancés of-course it was w ridiculous large diamond shape ring .she smiled thanked him with a kiss on the cheeks and continued to open the others until she reached mine.

She looked at me giddy. I smiled back at her watching her open the red velvet box that’s when tears fell from her eyes and she looked at me smiling.

“ Come on I didn’t give to you so you could cry,” I said and she came to me and hugged me tightly arms draped around my neck nose smelling my scent buried my nose in hers.

“Thank you so much. She backed away holding my face locking my eyes on hers until it was as if we were the only ones in the room stars and that’s when Sarah said “ come on show us what did he get you .”

She took the silver necklace with w small crown filled with red jewels it wasn’t that much compared to the other expensive gift especially that huge ring but it worths much more because this necklace was the same one as the one I gave it to her when were kids and got lost in the sea she cried for days for losing it. So I had to make a custom made one just for her.

“ May I ?” I said

“ yeah.” She said in a soft voice with a few sniffs from her crying.

She pulled her hair to the side and put down the necklace on her kissed her nick and turned her to the mirror next to me. She kept touching it smiling

“ I'll never let this one go.” She said while looking at me in the mirror

“ Sure your clumsy ass will”

She hit me in the stomach and I arched from pain. damn, I forgot about our fights.

“ Why do you always have to ruin a beautiful moment with your mouth Noah,” she said walking away just to receive adark gaze of disgust from her fiancé.

Jasper came to me as we said goodbye to the guest and went to the backyard to smoke.

“ Shit this hits differently,” jasper said handing me the joint.

“ Well I keep these only for special occasions my dear old friend and tonight is the night to-“

Interrupted by a hand taking the joint from me and smoking it she said “ to get fucking high”

“ Hey, jasper what’s up with the horse is it me, or is there really a horse in your backyard” taking the joint forcefully back from her while she sat on my thighs.

“Nah man that really a stupid ass beautiful horse, its the present from Richie rich back there”

“ Shit, other than the giant ring a giant horse too baby he must be compromising for he little dick” she hits me in the head a started walking to the horse

“ Ow, this time it really hurts”

“ Shut up, “ she said with a mad and want to laugh really hard looking face

“ Why are you made princess he’s not satisfying you in bed as it should be?”

She stuck her tongue out to me.childish as shell ever be.

“ Come on man I don’t need to hear about them in bed,” Jasper said taking a puff and handing it back to me.

“ Yeah I sure don’t either”

“ Well in that case why don’t you stop being in our asses every five minutes” a voice came from behind where we were sitting and a terrified look was shown on Elaina's face.

“Well won’t you tell me dear sir why wouldn’t I when she looks like that towards her fiancé as if he’s about to kill her while she’s supposed to be all lovey-dovey with you?” I said not looking back at him kept smoking.

“ That's none of your business may be the shit you’ve been smoking makes you see things that aren’t true,” Joshua says.

“ Yeah tonight it made me see a lot more clearer,” I said back to him with a small grin on the edge of my lips.

“ You two better stop or I’m busting some asses tonight, a little respect won’t kill you both,” Jasper said in an angry tone that I rarely hear unless I fuck up really bad.

“ I just want him to keep his hands away,” Joshua explained politely to jasper.

“ Well I don’t give a fuck about what do you want,” I said back w a harsh tone.

Jasper put a hand between us and I still didn’t even react or turned back still giving him my back but I knew his fist is already curled up to punch me.

“ What he meant to say dear Joshua is that we are her Closest Friends and Family we will have something to say if we saw that you’re doing something wrong.we will be in her life so either you accept it and deal with it or you fuck off because believe if she didn’t tell me she loved you I would’ve knocked you out a lot more time than you think.this is your first time here to meet her friends so behave,” Jasper said in a harsh low tone so that Elaina won’t hear him and turned his back.

“ Now goodnight Joshua” jasper finished and took a cigarette from my pocket.

Joshua left and we started bursting into laughter, of course, Elaina had no clue she kissed us goodnight and went upstairs to her room even though he’s her fiancé jasper made them sleep in different rooms.

When we finished laughing he looked at me with serious eyes.

“ What now?” I said

“ Noah, I know,” he said to me.

“ You don’t know shit,” I said lighting my cigarette

“ Of course I know I’ve always known.don't you think I can’t see the looks the remarks the stupid fighting since we were kids and it fucking grew bad when she started dating in high school you got into all the fights became a bad boy with a bad reputation even though you aren’t just to protect her?” He said explaining to me.

“ Oh, so you know”

“ Yes I know, so stop it it's unhealthy for you and I know about the kiss at the airport.” He said looking sadly at me.

“ How the hell did you know that and don’t give me petty eyes I can take care of my heart she has broken it to shreds thousands of times so it's fine.” I said clenching my jaw ears turning red not looking at him in the eyes. He knows I’m lying but what can he say.

“ I saw you guys waited for you to talk about it or better for you two to get together but all went out the window when she texted me about a new guy she had a crush on”

“Ew, yeah she told me about him too”

“ Being gay is so hard sometimes “ jasper said

“ What the hell, hows that related to what we are talking about”

“ I just felt like saying it”

* * *

We slept on the couch when the morning came I took off to my apartment took a shower and slept throughout the day.

When I woke up at night I decided to go visit home a little see what’s going on got dresses and went there.

“I'm home,” I said loudly at the door just to see Elizabeth peeking from the kitchen door and running to hug me.

“ I guess you missed me a lot about what happened?” I said hugging her back

“Nothing, just really missed you” she was lying and I knew it just didn’t push her to talk instead gave her another tight hug and went further inside the house to see my dad sleeping on the couch with empty bottles around him fucked him under my breath and went to the kitchen.jake was studying and eating.

“Can’t you do one thing at a time?” I said

“ No I have to study for the entrance exam or else I’m screwed,” he said without even looking at me.

“ So what have you been up to? Any new exciting thing?” Elizabeth said while making some coffee and cookies to the table she sat right in front of me so I knew I don’t have the chance to lie.

“Elaina came back with a fiancé, “ I said taking the cookies from the plate.

“ I heard, and this is a bad thing because?” She said questionably.

“It's a bad thing in many ways but I have no right to say anything to her,” I said eating my cookie aggressively.

“ Don’t take out on the cookies man you’re going to leave crumbs all over my notes,” Jake said while getting rid of the crumbs on his notes.

Noah: “ I'm not mad or taking it out on anything it's just not right. I know something is wrong but I can’t put my finger on it.

Elizabeth: “ maybe because you still have feelings for her and you can’t get over the kiss thing at the airport you feel the need to find something wrong in her other relationships”

Noah: “ I swear to god if someone else brought the airport kiss one more time-“

Elizabeth: “ fine I’m sorry but consider what I said.”

Noah: “ I know but that doesn’t feel like it. I don’t know and with her, its always like that she does these things that makes me think she loves me and then she goes and talk about her new boyfriends or fiancé or whatever dirtbag she picks up there”

Jake: “ just let go then, if its meant to be it’ll be”

Noah/Elizabeth: “ ooh shut up you know it all”

We both said throwing cookies at him. We ended up talking some more and laughing I missed being at the house but it's the only place I can’t be and my dad is not the number one dad after mom left when we were kids for another man that she loved.

you see my mom and dad had an arranged marriage because of money relations and such she was forced to marry him.years later she found love and left.jake was little to understand what had happened and for me to look a lot like she lived in a literal hell. if it wasn’t for Elizabeth god knows what I would have become.

when I grew up I was either sleeping over at jaspers or crashing at Sarahs or jasmine apartments since I couldn’t afford any. The abuse was so bad I don’t think I would ever forgive him so ben, Elizabeth's boyfriend rented me the apartment I’m in now when I turned 18 and I’m really grateful for that ever since I live their our dad stopped talking just demanding food and booze started drinking till he passed out on the furniture Jake was his pride and joy he looked like him a lot so Elizabeth had the whole house she became a mother before she even knows it.

Life trauma like this doesn’t go away easily sometimes I have panic attacks, nightmares I drink a lot often smoke more than eat even while trying to maintain my muscular body at the gym sometimes I just give up and start the cycle all over again with girls and booze.trying to forget it is hard.


	5. at dreamlands door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy it I am already ahead of you might upload more, thankyou for reading.

Going back to my apartment a few days later we had a party on my roof. lights music booze and a whole lot of kissing and sex. jasper came I invited Elaina but jasper said she was saying goodbye to her beloved at the airport she might not come. to be honest I felt at ease that I don’t have to worry about her being hit on by drunk guys or dancing with someone.

We kept dancing all night until it was time to call of the party when everyone went out the door Sara came to me I was sitting on the chair on the roof smoking she sat on my lap grinding on my hard dick. I moaned as she started to grind harder she linked her lips with mind hard sucking biting my bottom lip tongue-twisting and everything. everything happening I just couldn’t picture her instead when she reached out to unbutton my jeans I held her wrist to stop her.

“ What the hell?”

“Stop, I'm not in the mood tonight Sarah sorry”

“ Is it because of her?”

“ No, it's not maybe it is I don’t know I just don’t feel good right now”

“ Well you’re saying no but your hard dick here says yes so why are lying?”

“ Just go home”

“Fine, goodbye”

And she left. I went downstairs turned my shower on a hot bath to calm and relax me down. that's when I heard the noise it was past midnight. I wore my towel on my waist went to the door and there she was. crying.

“ Hey what happened why are you here its past midnight”

She cupped my face with her hands and rammed her lips on my it was sloppy at first then the heart started to get in the way. clothes were off tongue getting sucked I carried her to bed and looked her in the eyes. her eyes were like a plea to not talk or ask just do.

“ Are you sure?” I had to ask at least this question.

“ Definitely” she nodded

I continued kissing her harshly. If I was hungry and only her I want and need to be satisfied moaning kissing her neck leaving little heckies going down to hear nipples sucking them hard and licking them.

“Yess ahhhh mm more please.” She begged and that was the end of me. I kissed every inch of her body until I reached her pussy she smelled like warm vanilla on a cold fucking day that warms your heart she tasted like cherry and I ate her like I haven’t eaten anything in my life getting my tongue inside sucking her clit hard as she was about to cum I stopped.

She whined “ shh baby ill take care of you now,” I said in a low voice kissing her grinding my dick at her entrance

she flipped me over to be on top of me kissed my down until she reaches my hard throbbing dick spilling pre cum she stroked it few time then she licked the tip long licks “ shit, yes princesgoesgo one,” I said moaning.

”hummm” humming and moaning while taking my dick in her warm mouth sending vibration made me a moaning mess

” shit stop sucking hard ahhh - fuck “ when I was about to come I stopped her opened a condom rolled it on my dick and took her to straddle me lowered her slowly on my dick we moaned together

“ fuck so tight,” I said breathing in her neck

“ come on baby ride me” she sucked my neck and slowly started riding my dick and the pace kept rising faster

“ so full, shit you’re so big stretching me ahhhh yes” I slapped her ass cheek and she yelped

“ your so beautiful “ softly massaging her red now ass I slapped the other as she continued to ride me now hard.

The room was filled with our moans I shifted to missionary and kept ramming her hard and fast

“ ahh yesss right there I’m coming” she said her nails digging on my back I buried my face in her neck reaching my climax two more pumps and shallow thrust and we came. She gave one last moan I covered it with my mouth with few more pumps to milk my orgasm and fill the condoms. After coming from the high I pulled out of her tied the condom and threw it in the trash can lay next to her in the silk sheets while waiting for our heart rate to slow down.

She came near me put her head on my chest and hugged me tightly. Kissed her forehead and stroked softly on her back and we fell asleep.

In the morning I woke up to see her next to me sleeping sun rays slipping through the window covers showing her beautiful amber hair and her soft glowing skin tucking a hair in her ear she moved unconsciously closer to me and I hugged her more.

Hearing her heartbeat align with mine smelling her scent gave me peace and serenity. I loved her and I always will. Even though my heart keeps denying it my head starts a whole epilogue to it the opposite.

She whined and started opening her eyes I looked down at her kissed her cheeks. “ morning princess.” I said

“ Morning to you too,” she said returning the kiss on my lips with a smile.

“You can go use the shower first unless you want me to join?” I said kept kissing her neck topping her. She held my face squeezed my cheeks. “ I would love to” she let. Go of my face “ ow that hurt” I said while rubbing them.

After a morning shower sex, we sat on the couch her wearing my oversized t-shirt and me only in my sweats.

“So we did that had breakfast now I’m smoking and you’re drinking coffee,” I said looking at her.

“ So?” She said not looking at me in the eye watching the black screen of the closed tv.

“ Are you going to tell me what happened yesterday?” I said taking a puff with a serious tone.

“No” she held the cup tightly.

“ You know you can tell me anything, you always did.” I held her close “ please tell me I don’t like you like this”

“ I had a huge fight with Joshua” she replied in a low voice.

“It's not enough reason for you to come here and sleep with me come on tell me the truth”

“ Fine okay” she sat straight and turned to me.

I looked at her listening

“ I know I am a big asshole for not saying anything or not acting on the kiss you gave me at the airport. because it was already made up”

  
“ what do you mean ?”

“Joshua is the son of my fathers business partner”

“ Oh here we go with this shit again, “ I said cupping my face. She took my hands and made me look at her holding them hard as if she never wants to let go.

“ Listen to me, it was bound to happen and I always thought you didn’t like me in this way that’s why I said okay to study in America I was already getting the major and the college I wanted but the disadvantage is that I had him to keep me company so that we could know each other. when you kissed me at the airport that made all the thing I agreed to thrown out just to have them back shoved in my face when they announced I have to board the flight and remembered the promise I gave my father”

She started crying and her voice cracking a little bit I squeezed her hand firmly she wipes her tears and continued.

“ But after college at the internship he changed or I opened my mind and saw I don’t know really he showed his true colors being jealous is one thing but his angry tantrum and violence got me freaked out. At first, I thought he’s just the jealous type he apologized with gifts and dates and stuff .my father always asked about him but my mother was worried. This the first time my father ever asked me about something and I just couldn’t say no. until yesterday he was having his tantrum yelling and throwing things I was just scared so when I wanted to break things off he called my dad and told him about what happened at the birthday party and he yelled at me more.”

She kept going and my mind was blowing up heart racing anger rising how just dare they do this to her. holding now my cigarette with my teeth almost cut it off the inhaled and puffed it harshly legs shaking I was really agitated and squashed it in the ashtray trying to light my second one and she stopped me she knows I’m pissed she took my other hand and continued.

“He calmed down and apologized and I told him that I have to think about it I need space, so that’s why he had to return alone. I talked to my mom she understood she doesn’t even want this to continue but if my dad lost this we will lose everything we have.”

Tears came down her cheeks I picked them up with my lips kissing her softly and bringing her to my lap she laid her head on my chest and I stroked her hair calming her down.

I didn’t know what to say. if I had to do something is fuck everything and take her with me if she lets me. Jasper, I think already knows by that lecture he gave Joshua the other night. I am so pissed off I can’t describe how I feel.

“It's going to be all right. I am here and ill always will be, your happiness always comes first you know how much you mean to me right?” She nodded soaking my chest with her tears.

After she calmed down we stayed like this for about an hour she dozed off and I carved us with a blanket took a book next to me wore my glasses and started reading a bit.

She opened her eyes moving I closed the book and looked at her sleepy eyes.

“ How’s the nap?” I smiled kissing her

“ Perfect,” she said with a smile.

What are you reading?

“A draft I have to read for work,” I said taking off my glasses.

“ No, leave them on iv Never seen you with the one you look like a hot professor, damn,” she said straddling me.

“ Oh really?” I said taking her lips hungrily

“ Hmmm yeah “ she moaned into the kiss grinding on me hard.

“ Fuck everything about you turns me one,” I said grabbing her ass hard grinding her on my dick

“Hmmm ahh, more Noah,” she said while biting my lips.

“ More what princesses beg for me,” I said grabbing her hair kissing her until we broke breathless.

“Give me your big fat cock please.”

I took her shirt off started nibbling at her nipples licking and sucking hard my hand went down touching her fast she was wet enough for my To put to fingers inside.

“ Ahh yes “ she moaned grinding herself with the thrust of my finger inside of her hard and fast while sucking on her nipples.

“ You want to come, baby”

I said that when her face started to go blank and the thrusting and grinding became faster she became breathless.

“Yes ah hmmm” she moaned louder closing to her climax

“Come for me, baby,” I said spanking her ass hard that’s when she trembled and came on my fingers. I took them out and she started sucking them.

My dick throbbed and my sweats were stained with pre-cum she touched my hardening cook I lifted my self to lower my sweats after sucking my fingers she got up to the nightstand and took a condom when she came back she sat between my legs my dick in her hand stroking it and sucking it.

“Fuckkk Yesss “ I grabbed her hair started to fuck her mouth the feeling of my dick reaching the back of her throat almost made me cum.

“Fuck Elaina that was hmmm ahh yes.” She took the condom and placed it with her mouth. And that drove me crazy I as I was about to touch her she jerked my hand.

“ No touching” she grinned as she straddles me her wet pussy on my throbbing dick grinding slowly.

“Come on baby don’t want my big fat cock.” I spanked her and she yelped.

“ I said no touching” she Took my hand off her and took the pair of cuffs and cuffed my hands behind my back.

“Where the hell did you find those,” I said lifting an eyebrow seeing this dominant side of her excited me and turned me on even more.

“ They were in the nightstand drawer near the condoms and the lube apparently?” She said with a grin.

“That's a different story you don’t need to know about now,” I said moving my hips to get some friction from her pussy

“ Someone is needy,” she said while lining my dick with her entrance.

“ For you princesse always” and with that, she dropped hard we moaned together she kept riding me hard .the agony of me not being able to touch her and the turn-on from that is tearing me.

“Ahhh yes fuck you fill me so good shit,” she said coming closer and biting my lips.

“ You’re so fucking tight I don’t think I can hold any longer.”I raised my hips pounding on her made her eyes roll back as our climax was near.

“Baby I’m coming yess like that fuckk” I said my head thrown back on the couch

“ Come in my fill me up” and with that, I pounded even harder with her riding me and we climaxed together.

“Fuck this was hot,” I said to her will she dropped her head on my shoulder.

“ Fuck yes.” She said breathlessly.

“ Baby can you untie me now you need some punishment,” I said bruising her neck sucking it hard.

She took off the cuffs and I spanked her on her ass cheeks

“Aah, what was that for?” She said pouting in a totally evil way.

“ For going through my drawer and for forbidding me from touching you.”

She kissed me hard as she slipped my dick out of her.

“ I'll take this punishment gladly” she smiled and walked to the bathroom.

I took the condom off tied it threw it in the trash.

“Hey, do you want to go to town for dinner?” I said loudly.

“ Sure ill ask jasper to come too since he’s always working at the bar,” she said turning the shower on

I walked to her and looked at her in the shower box hot water sliding at her curves and I wished that I woke up to this every morning. But damn she’s dense.

“ I was talking about a dating princess,” I said to her while joining her in the shower.

She looked at me with puppy eyes.

“Really??” She said smiling,

“ Yes really.” I kissed her.

“Wouldn’t that be weird without my brother”

“ Why would you like him to join us in everything even this too?” She shoved me off her.

“You’re gross sometimes.” She kept shampooing my hair.

“ Yeah I know I’m sorry”.

Done with the shower her clothes were washed and dried and ready for her to wear from yesterday I was smoking and reading on the couch waiting for her to dress until jasper barged in.

“And guess what the traitors are hanging out without me,” he said in a loud voice.

“Shit you scared the hell out of me” I took off my glasses

She came out of the bathroom and thank god she was dressed.

“We are not traitors actually we were just about to go and get you from the bar” I turned my head to her in shock.

“ We were?” I lifted a brow at her.

“Yes, we were,” she said firmly.” And now that we all are here let's go eat cause I m starving.

“What are you doing here and aren’t those your clothes from yesterday?” Jasper looked at us suspiciously “ and are those hickies ? “ he pointed at my neck I thanked the lord I didn’t mark hers where someone can easily see.

“Ummm I” she stutter trying to find a good lie.

“ She crashed here last night she wanted to talk, and yes they are remember the part last night?” I said nonchalantly while looking at my phone adding one person to our reservation

“Ahah,” jasper said and looked at us trying to figure us out.

“ Are we going or are you still going to stare at us like that?” She said while wearing her heels next to me.

“ I guess we are going,” Jasper said


	6. the lies we tell our selves.

We arrived at her favorite Japanese restaurant in town sat at the table I was wearing a little bit like date clothes which made jasper more confused because he knows me.

“Dude aren’t you looking dashing tonight” jasper teased.

“Well thank you it's not like we three go out a lot so I had to dress up a little bit” I smiled at him.

“ Well lying to you is like breathing ha?” Elaina said and earned a light kick from under the table.

“Ow,” she said touching her leg.

“ What?” Jasper asked.

“Nothing I just hit the pole under the table.” She said while narrowing her eyes at me.

“ What a gorgeous big fat pole that is,” I said in a cool tone while reading the menu.

We ordered and talked and ate and fought.

“ So how’s everything you stopped having your stuff lately?” Jasper said.

“ No I still have those sometimes and it sucks to try and stop it on my own sometimes,” I said back at him.

“What are those?” Elaina asked.

“You know his-“ jasper was about to explain when I gave him a look to shut up

“Nothing it's stupid,” I said as I ate.

“It's not stupid it's serious and you know that,” jasper said worrying about me.

“Tell me what’s going on,” Elaina asked looking at me with a plea.

“ I have sometimes major panic attacks and nightmares,” I said trying to not look her in the eye.

“ How bad is it?” She said looking at jasper because she knows I’m not going, to tell the truth.

“It's really bad Elaina he has appointments—“ I interrupted him again

“ If you say one more word I swear,” I said now in an angrier tone pointing my chopsticks at him.

“Fine I’m not going to say anything calm down just do as I say please” he pleaded

“I'm not going to I’m good with what I am doing I don’t have to do anything else now both eat, “ I said.

“But-“ Elaina said

“ Not buts Elaina eat,” I said and closed the conversation.

“So anyway I met someone “ jasper changed the subject

“Really who?” Elaina looked at him with sparkly eyes.

“You know him, Noah, Alex he was in your volleyball team in college!” Jasper exclaimed.

“Holy shit him?” I said remembering a lot of stuff that we did back then.

“Yup the one you did that with,” Jasper said and I swear I wanted to close his mouth shut with glue.

“Did what with now?” She looked back and forth between us.

“ You can’t keep your mouth shut can’t you?” I said putting my face between my hands turning red.

The table fell in silence that’s when she said loudly “ you guys had a threesome!!”

“Shhhhhh no need for the whole fucking town to hear Elaina sit your pretty ass down!” I said hissing at her.

“Sorry, but really?” She asked looking at me

“ Why are you looking only at me your brother was in it too.”

“ Just to be clear he topped Alex and I was filming and getting sucked by Alex,” jasper said explaining.

“ Well he’s a top alright,” Elaina said to me with a grin and continued

“ I knew my brother was gay since he stole my mom's lingerie in middle school that’s not news to me”

“Hey you don’t have to expose me like that”

“ But you Noah and filming? Now this is interesting and kinky”

“Shut up we were drunk and high”

“No seriously that’s why you had lube in your nightstand huh,” she said smirking looking at me having fun with the moment until jasper picked it up.

“ You little shit heads had sex!!”. Jasper exclaimed loudly.

“Oh my god, the night will never end will it,” I said throwing my head back covering my face.

“Well keeping it a secret plan went out the window,” she said while picking sushi to eat.

“ Because of you running your mouth, “ I said

“ You love didn’t complain about my mouth this morning,” she said while taking the sushi in her mouth.

Jasper was still in shock looking at space we looked at each other and back to him

“ Hey, buddy are you okay?” I said waving my hand infant of his face.

“Yeah I’m fine just thinking how fucked up we are,” he said looking at us.

“ Yes we are and we are proud of it” I raised my glass to him and clinked my glass with her.

“You dumbs shit heads what the hell now, what’s that supposed to mean?” Jasper said looking at us.

“ It doesn’t have to mean anything it was just a stupid mistake,” Elaina said.

“What?” I said back looking at her surprised.


	7. a Grey line

“What was I supposed to say I’m in love with you I don’t want to marry that jerk face in America. I can’t say that Noah” she said.

“ Yeah you can’t, I’m full guys heading out for a smoke” I got up and went outside with the words just a mistake ringing in my stupid head.

“ Elaina that was wrong,” Jasper said looking at her trying to make her meet his eyes. When she lifted her face tears were forming in her eyes.

“ I know I’m the worst person ever I keep breaking his heart over and over. And he doesn’t even deserve it he welcomes me back every time as nothing happened I’m just too scared to say the truth to him and eventually have to leave him behind” she said while crying on her brother's chest.

“ You know ill back you up with every decision you make you are my little sister. but don’t give him false hope you have to make up your mind. you know he only sees you right he freaking loved you since we were kids Elaina.” Jasper said to her calming her down.

“ Yeah, I have to go apologies.” She said standing up.

She came outside watching me smoke with an angry face looking at the sky cursing under my breath. She came behind me and tugged my shirt.

“I'm sorry,” she said voice cracked tears falling

“For what? I thought I was a mistake so, you should just forget about me” I said taking another drag not moving.

“ I didn’t mean to say that I... I” she stuttered and I turned around she looked at my eyes.

“ You’re what Elaina?” Said firmly

“ I am scared because I love you.” She said dropping her head on my chest I put out my smoke and huffed.

My heart can’t take it anymore all the excitement and agony heartbreak and love.

“ Stop doing that you're making me confused,” I said backing away from her.

She looked at me tried to reach my wrist but I took it away.

“ You say you love me then you leave I kiss you and you fucking leave you’ve broken me a thousand times and rebuild me on false hope and then you leave AGAIN!, my heart can’t handle this much pressure Elaina and I know you know it why are you toying with me?” I said with an angry voice hand going through my hair trying to understand.

“ Life isn’t always what we want it to be. I had to leave Noah I had no choice but to do that. if I can take back time and be at that moment when you kissed me at the airport I would’ve gone with you I would’ve said no to them and left to where ever you would take me. I made a mistake Noah and believe me my love for you isn’t a mistake.” She said explaining herself trying to get the words right with her sniffs and cries.

“ Then why would you say it?” I looked at her came closer to her my hands on her face wiping her tears my body is doing the opposite of what my brain is telling him to do.

“ Because I’m scared to lose you again,” she said

I kissed her hard didn’t care about who will see us right now all I want is her lips on mine. After we broke the kiss breathless “ you will never lose me, princess, never” I said to her and hugged her tightly.

After a few minutes, jasper came out.

“ Man I'm full let's go back to your place watch a movie,” he said walking past us acting as if he didn’t see or hear anything we laughed hand intertwined walking side by side singing silly song till we reached my place.

After we finished watching the movie jasper slept on the couch and I slept with her in my arms.

* * *

Woke up in sweat heart racing fast gasping for air. Thinking fuck I know I shouldn’t have been through all the memories and the pain at dinner cause I know my heart would react later.

“ Hey hey what’s wrong” Elaina wakes up freaked out looking at me trying to gasp for air.

“ iii cannot b bb breath,” I said hand on my heart clutching my shirt hard.

“ Hey hey, do you have anything to take any medicine what?” She was freaked out looking in the drawers for anything to help she wasn’t really here so she didn’t even know about them because I didn’t want her to.

“ J j ja “ I said trying to point at jasper and she quickly went to wake him up

“ What what’s wrong?” He woke up half sleepy

“ I don’t know its Noah and-“

“ Oh shit, I knew this would happen,” he said jumping from the sofa running to me

“ Hey hey, it's okay look at me” he took my arm from my heart and placed it on his chest making me looking at him. I was sweating stuttering that it hurts and that I can’t breathe and scared gasping for air as if someone was suffocating me with a plastic bag and the room started to turn.

“ Hey don’t do that look at me Noah feel my heart come on man breath with me,” he said calmly holding my hand to his chest pressing on it, and holding my face to meet his eyes

“It's okay Noah there is a lot of air in here it's fine to feel my pulse try to go with it, everything is fine it's just us three. he's not here everything is okay it was just a dream”

Elaina was standing near the sofa hands on her mouth shocked looking at me. this is the first time she ever saw me like that and it triggered her memory of my childhood she remembered my dad and everything blaming her self for not being here and not knowing what to do.

tears started forming in my eyes as I gasped for air jasper was still talking to me trying to keep me from passing out. Not until a few moments that my heart rate got calmer and I starting breathing again tears falling from my eyes body numb heart hurts so bad.

“Elaina in the left cabinet there an orange bottle bring it with water quickly,” Jasper said still trying to keep me up. I was tired and in pain can’t think of anything feeling dizzy. She brought the pills jasper opened my mouth put them inside and made me drink the water carefully trying not to choke me with it.

He laid me down and I dozed off again. she sat on the chair in front of the bed crying. jasper went to her hugged her.

“ Hey hey there’s no need for you to cry he’s fine to see he’s sleeping just fine it's okay”

“ No but he’s not how can you say he is, I say I love him yet when he needs me the most I couldn’t do anything what if you didn’t come tonight and he was all alone.” She said muffling her cries.

“ He's not alone ben live in this building too and he knows about it see that little Botton near his head on the wall?”

“ Yeah?” She said

“ That when ben knows it happened and he comes to him if I wasn’t here, and you couldn’t have known he didn’t even want you to see him like that it's not your fault you know he doesn’t like to talk about this stuff” jasper crouched down looking at her in the eyes.

“ How did you know that it's going to happen tonight?” She said

“ Because of what you did he can’t experience too much emotion at one time his heart can’t take it so the nightmares and the panic attacks come to him in his sleep more than when he’s awake. Because of his past trauma with his dad, you know” jasper said

“ Well this explains why he didn’t want to talk about it at dinner but I didn’t know it was this serious” Elaina said looking at me lying like that in bed.

“ Well, believe me, it is someday he’s going to have a heart attack because of his stupidity he doesn’t go to his doctor's appointment or his therapy he also doesn’t take his meds, the man he makes me so mad,” Jake said talking the pills and the water from me placing them back in their places.

“ Elaina it's fine now you can go back to sleep ill be here so don’t worry nothing will happen I already forced his meds on him so you should rest” he kissed her forehead and went back to the sofa.

Elaina came in bed laid next to me between my arms and hugged me tightly feeling my heartbeat following my breathing and fell asleep


	8. Shocking discovery.

The next day I woke up she was making breakfast with jasper sitting on the kitchen island stool drinking his coffee.

“ Good morning sleepyhead.” He said to me

“Yeah, good morning” I woke up and went straight to take a shower.

She was awfully quiet didn’t say anything until I finished my shower and ate my breakfast. thanked her for the meal and went straight to the sofa trying to get some work done.

I knew what had happened last night. I was trying to act like it didn’t because that’s what iv always done I can’t help it I don’t like talking about it. that when she looked at jasper and he waved goodbye promising us to come in the evening to go out for a movie night.

She came and sat next to me with worried eyes her lips parted trying to say something a few times but kept getting shut not knowing what to say.

“ What is it, Elaina?” I said not looking at her in a firm tone because I knew what she wanted to talk about.

“Can you tell me about your dream yesterday?” She said In a soft worried voice.

“No” I replied.

“But-“

“ No buts I don’t want to talk about it.”

“ You have too otherwise how you’re going to get through it?”

“ I will not because I know I won’t get through it, and I said I don’t want to talk about it” my voice began to rise, and flipping the pages a little aggressively.

“ You don’t know how scared I was yesterday seeing you like this” she got up tears forming in her eyes voice a little bit crack.

“ I know, but it's fine it happens all the time,” I said taking off my glasses and putting down the book relaxing on the sofa.

“ No no this is beyond fine you need to fix this.”

“Fix this? Oh, so you want me to go back to when I was 6 and stop my dad from beating me every time I was sound asleep every night?” I said angrily.

“No what I mean you have to talk about it to get over it” she explained

“ No, what I need is for you to stop talking about it and let it go its not something that I can just GET OVER IT ELAINA” taking a smoke between my lips lighting it.

“ You didn’t even try-“

“ I FUCKING TRIED FOR TWO YEARS IVE TRIED ELAINA AND NOTHING CHANGED” now I was yelling.

“ So now what you give up just like that?” She crossed her arms tears still running and her cheeks

“ I..” I couldn’t form any words because the nightmares I worse and trying to remember them and talk only triggers more memory and my heart can’t take it. half of my therapy sessions end in the first 15 minutes because the rest is me having a panic attack every damn time it scares the shit out of me.

She came close to me took my right hand held it and rested her chin on it after kissing it. I looked at her. her eyes are so beautiful glistening from her tears god she’s a pretty crier. I took my hand ribbed her cheeks and kissed her tears away.

“I'm fine please just I can’t talk about it,” I said in a low voice forehead pressed to hers looking at her eyes with a plea.

“If this is what you really want then ill let it go, but you know I can’t see you like this it hurts.”

I gave her a soft kiss.

“ I know it hurts me more.”

I looked away smoking heavily. she let go of my hands and went to wear her shoes. kissed my forehead and said goodbye.

I tried to continue to work but I couldn’t everything was in my head flashing like a movie screening in my eyes. I closed them hard and pinched myself to distract myself from the pain starting in my heart to calm myself down.

At night we went to the movies. of course, Elaina and jasper would pick a sappy romantic movie which they cried a lot in it both of them wrapped their arms around mine with tissues in their hand I could only laugh at how silly their faces look like. when the movie ended she hit me in the arm and I grabbed her and kissed her.

“ Elaina?” A woman’s voice came from the theater.

She immediately backed away from me standing up shaking I was confused looked at jasper just to see him shocked as well.

“Jaimie?” She was shocked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thankyou for the kudos, I know this is short but who's Jaimie is a really good one to find out about later.  
> Stay tuned for the next chapter<3.


	9. A devil shows it self.

“Oh- hi, How are you ?” She stuttered talking to the woman coming up to us  
“ Well I’m good, would ask you the same but from what I saw id say not going to be so great” she grinned and evil grin.  
I stood up and said.  
“And you are?”  
“Oh I'm Joshua’s best friend and co-worker you must be the infamous Noah”  
“Ohh I I what wait ?” I stuttered shocked infamous best friend shit this is going downhill.  
“What cat ate your tongue although it was working fine in her mouth moments ago.”  
“ Jaimie I can explain” Elaina was scared and nervous her fist was clenching and unclenching.  
“ No need babe I get it, Joshua told me this was an interesting town didn’t know it was this interesting, well then see you I have to go something important came up,” she said walking away eyeing me from head to toe.

“ Holy shit Noah I’m dead.” Elaina looked at me scared more than the two times I’ve seen her at the birthday party.  
“Hey, it's going to be fine we will come up with something don’t worry, right jasper?” I said looking at jasper who was covering his face mumbling we are going to lose everything and how his dad is going to kill him.  
“ Hey come on man,” I said Elaina held my shirt tight. And that’s when her phone suddenly rang it was Joshua.  
“Shit, I have to take this.” She said taking steps back.  
“Do need me to come with you?” I said and jasper nodded too.  
“ No, I have to do it alone wait for me at the bar ill be there as soon as I’m done.”  
She left taking the phone call and we headed to the bar. everything that we’ve been through came at me like a hard slap. She engaged my mind screamed. the weeks I’ve spent with her was like a dream come true that I never left a piece of reality in it. when that came I was so stupid I could’ve ruined her entire life just being this selfish.  
Not until jasper snapped his fingers near my ear that I snapped raised my head to look at him.

“ You’ve been quiet since we came here and it been a long ass half-hour without you talking I began to worry, to be honest,” he said forcing a smile.  
“ How could we be this stupid,” I said  
“Its love is supposed to be stupid,” Jasper said handing me back my cigarette back and light after lighting one for himself,  
“ She’s engaged jasper you could lose everything” I took one too may be trying to calm myself with nicotine might help.  
“You know I actually don’t care. I already saved enough money from the bar and what my mother gives me every month to actually buy the bar from dad. so with or without the engagement I and her and mom won’t lose anything you know” he said.  
“But your sister-“  
“ I'd rather see her smiling in your half-empty apartment over being sad and scared in a big ass mansion, Noah.”  
“So you did know about his tantrums?”  
“ Yeah, you remember when I went to visit that summer?”  
“Yeah?”  
“ Well I went to surprise her in her apartment only to see him storm off without even acknowledging me when I went inside the place was messed up and she was crying the corner”  
I clutched my fist hard my knuckles turned white her held them to calm me down.I released them focused on the door smoking hearing him continue.  
“ I almost had a fight with him when we gathered at my house and he acted so nice and sweet he didn’t even recognize me from back then it pissed me off.”  
“What did your dad do?”  
“ Well he lectured me and told me about how this engagement is important to him and so on he doesn’t know and when I tried to tell him he didn’t want to listen”  
“Ass hole,” I said under my breath  
“ He is acting like one I’ve never seen him so desperate for money and I don’t know what he’s hiding from us but I guess we both have daddy issues now” we laughed and our laugh was nothing but a pained one.  
Jasper called her for an hour because she didn’t come. she said she back in their home and she needs a little time off everything is fine, but what pissed me off that she specifically asked jasper to stop me from coming over.


	10. who cares about consequences?

Although it pissed me off I had to respect her decision. after few days of silence she knocked at my door I opened It with sleepy tired puffy red eyes wearing my glasses hair messy and an oversized shirt only boxers on with a cigarette hanging from my lips.  
“ Aww, sorry for interrupting working hard?” She said softly,  
“No, it's okay to come in.” I moved and she came in took off her shoes and threw herself at the couch.  
“ You want something to eat or drink?” I said as I was pouring my self whiskey.  
She lifted her head looked around the apartment it was dirty clothes were thrown on the ground two or maybe three bottles of booze empty near the sink unmade bed papers everywhere. and the ashtray was full of cigarette buds and the other one was close to being full two.  
“ No, and what the hell happened here?” She said pointing at the mess.  
“Nothing” I shrugged sitting on the armchair near the left side of the sofa.  
“Noah?” She looked at me knowing that I am lying.  
“What?” I said taking the cigarette in my hand and sipping from the glass after puffing the thick smoke from my mouth.  
“What happened I only left for almost a week and you call THIS nothing?”   
“ I was just working it's fine”  
“ Did it happen again?”   
“ No..why would you say that”  
“DID IT HAPPEN AGAIN NOAH?”  
“Yes”  
“How many times?”  
“It doesn’t matter it's fine”  
“Do I need to repeat myself for you to tell me the truth? Please just tell me” she came and straddled me lifting my hair from my forehead holding my head with both hands giving me serious yet soft worried eyes.  
“ So how many days you’ve been gone exactly?” I said.  
“ 6 days..so??”  
“ Yea so maybe three nothing serious, it's normal,” I said   
“3 TIMES????? Consecutive times??”  
“ No somedays I had to have two because I was trying to work and sleep, forget and worry its was just overwhelming Elaina I couldn't take it “  
“I'm sorry for not taking your calls and replying to your texts,” she said while planting a soft kiss on my lips  
“ So what we can do this now what does it mean?”   
“ It means that I kind of don’t give a damn right now and I don’t want to think about anything but now, I’m done being scared of what tomorrow holds”   
“ So what we are going to keep doing it like this?”  
“ I don’t want to lose you, Noah, not now not ever so ill eventually have to face the truth but right now I want to be selfish I don’t care about my dad or that asshole I just want you”  
She kissed me passionately tongue sucking lips biting and grinding on my dick which was already slowly hardening since the moment she straddled I broke the kiss saliva still dripping my our mouth the air tensed.  
I stuffed the cigarette in the ashtray and left my glass on the ground leaned back on the chair. she was looking at my movement with a confused look.

“ So what you’re telling me that we can do whatever we want and forget about the consequences that gonna fuck us over?” I held her ass tightly.  
“It's only if you want to,” she said playing with the neck of my shirt.  
“Fuck I'm screwed it's a lose-lose anyway right?”  
“ No no don’t say that its an I don’t know how to explain it it's just that I know if I didn’t give us at least this chance I know I will regret it for the rest of my life that’s why I told him that we have to take a break I little bit.”  
“ Do I need to know what happened between you two that night?”  
“No just you being cursed over and over again with a lot of yelling”  
“Oh, so he was that mad?”  
“Well we can’t blame him, but to think he can send a friend her just to spy on me that pissed me off even if I was cheating”  
“ So you’re acknowledging this as cheating and he’s supposed to be okay with it?”  
“ Well he can fuck anyone anyways he now knows that our marriage is just on paper kind of marriage he’s not ever going to touch me.”  
“Wait what I’m confused”

“No no just stop thinking and.. and” she kissed me hard grinding on me harder.

“ I have to hmm ahh fuck” I said between my moans and she kept shutting me up with her kisses muffling them .

“Noah ahh”

“Yeah?”

“ Fuck me”

“You want me to fuck you, Princess?”

“Yes,” she said while reaching down inside my boxers cupping my dick and stroking it.

“Then get on your knees” I whispered in her ears biting her earlobe.

She got on her knees took off my boxers to reveal my hard cock and taking it with her hand kissing the head softly first and giving it kitty licks

“Shit,” I said moaning every time she licked then she put it in her mouth sucking it hard and gagging on it I held her hair with my hand started to fuck her little warm mouth she looked at me eyes crying saliva coming down her chin.

“ Ahh fuck you and your dirty little mouth you have”

“ Ahh hummmm” moaning and humming on while my dick in her mouth got me shivering

“ You want it, baby?” I said

“ Hmmm” she looked at me moaning more.

“ You want me to cum in your dirty little mouth of yours?”

She moaned even more and I quickened the pace fucking her mouth harder she kept sucking and taking it down her through until I thrust hard and then filled her mouth with my cum thrusting shallowly and lazily lifted my hand from her hair and she kept sucking me milking my orgasm he took her mouth of giving the head a soft kiss I lifted her and threw her on the sofa.

“Clothes off now” I demanded while taking off my shirt and going to the nightstand to take a condom.

When came back there she was total beauty laying on the sofa.

“On your knees princess”

“ Why?” Even though she asked she flipped and got on all four arching her back and popping her ass to me.

“ Good girl” I slapped her ass hard she jerked and moaned softly touching them only to slap them again.

“Ahhh Noah it hurts,” she said while moaning

“ You like it” I kissed her ass and biting it

“ Ahh yeah I do”

I started licking her sucking making a moaning mess out of her. moans made me hard again and ready after eating her pussy and ass I got up lined myself behind her and entered fully with one thrust she quiver and jerked.

“Ahhh shiiittt that hurt uhhh mm fuck” she moaned

I didn’t wait for her to try to adjust I rammed my dick hard fucking her without pause or mercy she was so wet she came from the first thrust.

“Fuckkk keep tightening up on me like that babyyy yess” I moaned grabbing her ass and opening them.

“Yesss baby faster more ahhh” she said holding on to the couch hard.

“You want more baby ha?” I said

“Yess baby more” without any warning, I quickly thrust my lubed fingers in her tight ass hole stretching her out,

“Ahh fuckkkk shit yes yes”

“ I have to prepare you baby relax”

“ How the hell I can relax while you’re fucking me this hard,” she said moaning. I cant take being fuck in two places at one.

I laughed took my dick out and sat on the couch.

“ Come here” I ushered her over my lap.

She came to me tried to lower herself on my dick but met my fingers in near her tight hole instead.

“ So were are doing this tonight?”

“ Baby we are doing everything tonight I’m gonna make you remember how my dick wrecked all of your holes tomorrow “ I kept fucking her with my fingers adding another one after a few pumps and then a third she moaned on my lips.

“ Noah I want yer dick now”

“Needy”

“Now”

I aligned my dick to her entrance and slowly lowered her down on it after taking it in waited till she got used to it and then I spread her ass and started thrusting fast and deep she held my shoulder tight till she reached my hair tucking on it hard.

“I'm … fuck yes I’m. Coming.” She said.

“ Yeah, baby you are?”

I said while taking one hand stroking her clit the pace as my thrusts and sucking on her nipples.

“Yess don’t stop,”

“Come for me princess”

With that, she came her shivers made me climax almost the same time with more shallow thrusts pumping in her ass filling the condom.

I slipped my dick from her and she laid on the couch tied the condom and threw it in the trash next to the chair. after calming down a little.

“ This is not good for my heart,” I said.

“This is not good for my body I’m already sore.” She said flipping on her back stretching her legs on me.

“ That’s what I was aiming for I’m not going to be sorry”

“ This is the first time I see you being this rough”

“ I am mad at you that’s why”

After that we fell silent for a little bit then she said

“ I think I am going to make you mad more often”

“ You’re filthy aren’t you”

“ Only for you babe, now help me take a shower please,” she said while holding her hands up waiting for me to lift her like the brat she is.

“ Its the least I can do” I laughed and held her.

After showering I went to bed she was trying to make the place look more decent which I already told her was fine but she knew that I wasn’t fine with mess and being dirty so she cleaned. when she was done was already asleep with space for her to sleep in my arms. and that’s what she did.


	11. the hard truth.

When I woke up the next morning she wasn’t here the bed on her side was cold meant she left early.I groaned at my headache woke up to see the apartment cleaned and smiled. went to take a shower drew a bath and laid in it the warm water relaxed me that I didn’t even notice the man standing at the door.

“ Well, it's been a long time since I’ve seen you draw a bath” jasper came in and sat near my head on the floor.

I leaned on the edge sighing.

“What tell me?” Jasper said.

“ That’s the thing I don’t know.”

“I feel you its w rollercoaster and we are all getting caught up in the high just waiting for the low”

“ Didn’t know you were good with words”

“Oh baby you should hear me in bed,” jasper said.

“ Well, I did we were roommates in college remember?” I laughed.

“Oh good time they were alright”

“Yeah they sure were”

We fell into silence then he looked at me

“ Did you visit your home by any chance?”

“No why did something happen?” I said

“No no just asking I ran into Jake at the bar” jasper said

“ And?”

“Did you know he has a huge crush on Sarah?”

“ Yeah I knew a while ago”

“ And you still banged her man that’s harsh”

“No, I actually stopped ever since I saw how he looked at her and talked to her”

“How chivalrous of you”

“ Yeah I know, she was mad actually I think she’s doing it with me to get him jealous sometimes but that’s just messed up so I stopped it.”

“ And jasmine?” He asked

“ She still drops by sometimes”

“And??”

“Nothing happens she works with me remembers she comes just to check on work and take what Iv finished ass hole I can’t do that to Elaina you know”

“Yeah I know I was just messing with you”

“Jerk,” said as I got out of the bath.

Days came to buy we went out the three of us sometimes hung around town nothing other than that would happen. Jaimie Joshua's friend was still around every time we went out which creeped us out a little bit but, we frankly didn’t care.

Few weeks passed by work is taking all of my time. here I was sitting on the sofa with my glasses on drinking coffee reading some more. She came behind me and hugged me with a smile.

“Good morning baby,” she said while giving me a soft kiss.

“Good morning sleep well?” I said pecking her lips with a smile.

“Yeah, going to take shower now but let's go out after I’m hungry,” she said

“ Sure ill call jasper” she stopped me from reaching for my phone

“No just the two of us”

“Really? A date date?”

“Yup a date date”

“Id love to, princess “ kissed her and she went back to take shower.

I felt something was wrong but shoved that thought aside because I knew she wouldn’t want to risk us being alone while Mrs stalker was still in town.

Dressed up went to our date. after chatting about random things flirting under the table a little. we fell in silence after our meal just holding our wine glasses looking at each other.

“So?” I said to her

“ What?” She said as if she knew I figured her out.

“ What is this date really about?”

“Nothing is it wrong of me to ask you on a private date without our annoying third wheel?”

“Come on Elaina you’re not acting like it's our first only the two of us date you’re acting like it's our last.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you made me take you to all the places we’ve been to before we came here so cut the crap and tell me”

I leaned on the table squeezed her hands softly and she sighed.

“I guess I can’t hide anything from you huh” she smiled a sad smile and looked away only to be forced my hand to look straight at mine.

“Baby, tell me”

“ Noah, I have to go”


	12. what hides in the shadows

I was shocked took my hands off her face but not my eyes.

“ Wait am I you what??”

“ I have to go back to America to sort things out”

“ No no you said you could do this from here, you told me that you will be selfish didn’t you and that I wouldn’t have to be afraid didn’t you Elaina?” My voice was quivering hands running through my hair tugging it tight. heart rate slowly rising and she caught on to that.

“Hey hey calm down just calm down and listen to me “

I sat there quietly the waiter came with the bill I paid and got up walked out. she walked behind me holding onto my jacket as if I would get lost if she let go.

When we went outside the sun was kind of setting down and a nice breeze coming into our hair she tugged my jacket trying to stop me from running away.

I turned to face her shaking.

“what the hell Elaina are we over or what?”

“I don’t know.”

“ No no don’t give me that shit again tell me”

“ My dad called the other day and we talked he apologized and everything and asked me if I would come back to get things right and I couldn’t say no”

“Fuck me Elaina FUCK ME over and over again is that what you like to do to me right.?”

“No can’t you see I’m hurt as much as you?”

“Yeah right one phone call and a fake apology made you run right back to his arms huh guess this really didn’t mean anything to you”

“No no don’t you dare say that to me,” she said angrily pointing her finger at me.

I laughed hard in agony just to distract myself from the hurt rising in my heart.I keep walking toward my apartment it was like a 10 minutes walk from town. She kept tugging my jacket trying to stop me.

“WHAT??”

That’s when she tugged my jacket and kissed me harshly in front of everybody. I was mad I took over the kiss angrily biting her lips hard sucking them mapping her mouth with my tongue and she let me. saliva dropping on our chin when we broke the kiss she saw my tears and put her hands on my heart which was surprisingly calmer.

“ Are you calm now?”

“Yes,” I said.

I took her hands and went inside the apartment and let's just say hate love sex was rough and hard both on our body and our mind kissing her and fucking her as if I was trying to imprint every curve every detail of her face body in my mind like a tattoo that never wears off it was exhausting my heart.

Woke up the next day to a note and a red velvet box on the kitchen island.I opened it it said.

Dear Noah,

You don’t know how much I love you that it hurts. leaving tomorrow. leaving you behind is the hardest thing that iv ever had to do. how could I, but in the end, we couldn’t get the life and ending you always read in your books that you’ve always recited to me in your arms stroking my hair smelling your nicotine and scent carved it in my mind I can’t think I can smell anything but you anymore. this time this is goodbye I am sorry for doing this but I am not sorry nor will I ever be for taking this chance with us I will forever and ever always love you and only you

Always.

Your Elaina.

I opened the box to find a promise ring with a thin chain carved inside the ring “ Always”

Didn’t want this to happen but here I am on the cold floor crying clenching my heart going through the hardest most hurtful episode. fortunately, jasper walked in at the right time and took me to the hospital. After getting scolded by my doctor I got discharged after a few hours upon my own responsibility I didn’t like being in the hospital it reminds me of a lot of negative things that I didn’t want to remember.

Walking alone after reassuring jasper that everything was fine cold chain moving on my chest I clenched it hard and breathed. that's when she started walking beside me.

“ What happened pretty boy?” She said hitting my shoulders to aware me of her presence.

**Author's Note:**

> thankyou for reading leave me comments on what you think and if you have more suggestion on what to add on or what to leave out <3


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